Firstly if you don’t care about being shorter than her, then she sure as hell doesn’t either
1. They don’t wear heels. Sorry, it’s Adidas Gazelles or barefoot for them.
2. She’s probably not actually that bothered if you’re shorter than her. She’s just worried that you’re bothered about it. But then you’re probably just worried that she’s bothered about it. It’s exhausting quite frankly.
3. You’re bound to see her lose it at least once when someone she’s just met says, “Wow. You’re tall, aren’t you?” Thanks for pointing that out – she’d never noticed before….
4. Shopping with her will pretty much the worst. Not being able to find that one elusive size 14 in the tall section is never going to end in a nice relaxing stroll around town.
5. And yes, before you ask, she has tried Long Tall Sally. It’s perfectly fine, but don’t us Goliaths deserve more than just ‘fine’?
6. If you’re dating a woman of height, there’s a good chance she’s also a woman of foot-length, so just be nice when she asks you if that pair of Converse make her feet look like a Viking longboat. The answer’s always no, okay?
7. Don’t feel bad if she bangs her head on the mood lighting in the posh restaurant you take her to on your first date. She’s used to the shame/concussion.
8. Your ladyfriend is probably a little self-conscious when she’s at gigs, so don’t ask her why she’s crouching a little for the entirety of her favourite band’s set. Just let her do it.
9. Same goes for the cinema. If she wants to slouch down in her seat or tilt her head to the side at a spine-destroying angle, then just let it slide.
10. Don’t be surprised if when you go to meet the family for the first time, they resemble the subs bench at a Chicago Bulls game. If she’s tall, the rest of them probably are too.
11. I hope you like photos of her from the neck down, because that’s all you’ll be getting from now on because people always cut her head clean off. Especially in group photos. Oh the joy…
12. Flights (or any mode of transport actually) are the worst. Expect a tonne of complaining when the 4ft 3 kid in front reclines.
13. As hard as she tries, she’s probably not a particularly good dancer. All arms combined with all legs does not make for a sexy Little Mix-esque routine.
14. Heading to the supermarket for a few essentials? Better take into consideration that every old lady will need a can of kidney beans taken down from the top shelf for them. So add two hours to your estimated round trip time.
15. Speaking of things that take a lifetime to complete, if you think you’re being sexy by offering to kiss every inch of her body, you might instantly regret it when you realise it’ll take at least three and a half hours to get from the top to the bottom.
16. And sex standing up? Don’t even bother, mate.