Finding out you’re putting everything into a relationship or casual thing, and the other person just isn’t that arsed can be utterly heartbreaking. It’s a truly horrible feeling, knowing that you’re crushin’ on someone harder than they are on you. But do you know what? Figuring that out and accepting it is a whole lot easier, healthier and better for you in the long run than flogging the dead horse that is your relationship.
Everybody’s different and has totally varied relationship expectations, so just because your bae is guilty of a few of relationships expert Suzie Parkus’ signs, it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re not into you (it could be their personality that makes them not touchy-feely or romantic). But if you’re consistently finding a lot of the below signs to be spot on it’s best to have a long hard think about whether the feelings you have are truly requited.
1. When they don’t answer right away when you phone them, you find yourself trying again before they return your call.
2. They seem unenthusiastic to hear from you (or are always preoccupied) when they do pick up.
3. When you do speak, they either keep it short and sweet or don’t seem engaged in the conversation. Maybe they’re happy to talk about themselves but switch off when you’re talking.
4. When they consistently take ages to reply to texts on a regular basis and offer no excuse or apology.
5. When you meet up it’s slightly awkward and almost cold when they greet you.
6. Your attempt at a passionate ‘hello kiss’ when you greet them is returned as a peck on the cheek.
7. Your PDA attempts are always met with a side swerve of the lips or hands, or they never initiate physical affection. NB obvs some people are just not into PDA so don’t rely on this too heavily.
8. The natural warmth and easy going vibe you put out when you hang out seems to be returned with a stilted and somewhat awkward attitude.
9. When you go to sleep at night and reach out to show affection, they consistently don’t respond or they show a lack of interest.
10. They do little to participate when you’re having sex and it feels like you’re merely going through the motions. The obvious physical and emotional distance creates an overall lack of intimacy.
11. While you’re willing to be generous with your time, money and resources, they’re cold and stingy.
12. You show your partner off and include them in family and friend gatherings but they seem reluctant to include you and it feels like they’re keeping you at arm’s length.
13. When you express your feelings about them, it’s either returned with little to no enthusiasm, or awkwardness.
14. They don’t show much (or any!) interest in you and your world, but you have all the time for them no matter whats going on in your life.
15. When it comes to special occasions like birthdays and anniversaries, you make an effort with the present buying and making them feel special. But they make little or no effort and nothing about their attempts screams attention to detail.
16. You’re happy to be romantic and they treat and talk to you like you’re a friend – doing things like talking about their attraction to others when they’re around you.
17. Your gut instinct tells you they aren’t as into you but rather than raise the issue, you ignore the feeling because you’re afraid of what they might say or that you’ll lose them.