Tripple L; Love, Like And Lust – Gideon Arthur


Love, Like and Lust are three different things found in relationship. Meanwhile they all
begin with the letter L. The differences between the three have attracted the attention of many
people. On a more serious note, people misinterpret these words and as such use them
interchangeably. Others even go the extent of using them synonymously. It must however be
pointed out that Love, Like and Lust are three different things with different meanings. In point
of fact, the truth is that they share nothing in common. This article seeks to strike the essential
differences between Love, Like and Lust. It examines each of them independently and goes
extra miles to emphasize their roles in a relationship. The article will enlighten readers and
broaden their mental faculty about Love, Like and Lust.
Hurriedly let us begin with love. What is love? I believe the meaning of love baffles a lot
of people. People ask themselves what is love and search the internet day in and day out trying
to figure out the real meaning of love. Honestly it must be well noted that love does not have a
precise definition. Everybody has their own perception about love. The following are the
meanings of love. Love is Chemistry. Scientifically love is a powerful and permanent neurological
condition. It is chemistry and for that matter it is something that is uncontrollable. Love does
not last. In other words, it does not have an end. Love is not something that is experienced at a
moment and within the next moment, it is gone. If somebody develops an affection for you
temporarily, it is never love. Love is Commitment. Commitment is the act of binding oneself (intellectually or
emotionally) to a course of action. In other words, it implies devoting oneself to something you
cherish most. Love is blind, unconditional, faithful and selfless. The Hebrew word for love is “ahava” from the root word “ahav” which means “to give”. So true love is more of giving than
receiving. In other words, love is about giving time and devotion. True love is a passionate
commitment that we develop for others we cherish most. Love is Compatibility. Love is how compatible lovers or partners are. Love and
compatibility come together to build a relationship. Notwithstanding the differences in values,
likes and dislikes, philosophical or political views, lovers find common grounds to grow their
relationships. In other words, in real love, opposites attract. Love is an action. Indeed, love is an action. It is never words by mouth, neither is it a
concept; love is expressed as an action. Love is practical. If you truly love your partner, then you
must put it into action. Thus you must show and prove love to your partner. The Hebrew word
for love “ahava” which means “to give” clearly demonstrates that love is an action. Love is unconditional. Love is an affection you have for your partner for no reason. It
exists in the absence of any benefit for you as a lover. True love is completely and utterly
selfless. When you love your partner unconditionally, you love him or her wholeheartedly,
despite their flaws, imperfections and mistakes.
The next L is like. Like love, the meaning of like is also very confusing. Actually, like has
different meanings. In my own view, like has the following meanings: Like is Conditional. Like is conditional in the sense that it is dependent on some
conditions. You may like someone for what they do for you, their personality, wealth and
status. For example, if your guy breaks up with you just because you changed the sexy way you
were used to dressing before meeting him, then he liked you, simply because he admired the
way you dressed. Apparently, like is also temporal. Unlike love, like is not a long-lasting
commitment towards somebody. Like is superficial. Like is a more watered-down version of love. In other words, it is a
more tender feeling that you develop towards a special someone. Put differently, like is lighter
in weight as compared to love. Liking someone means that you are simply happy being with
that person. That is when you like somebody, you are comfortable in the company of the
person. Like happens quickly. Unlike love which is developed in a slow process built on a
healthy foundation, like usually happens quickly. Like does not understand that true intimacy is
developed over a long time and through many seasons of life. Liking someone a lot is an obsessive feeling. You usually want that special someone to
call or text all the time. You might even stalk their social media. Usually, you force them to have
plans, or use sex and hooking to control them.
The last L is lust. Lust is also having so many explanations. Scientifically lust triggers the
part of the brain that responds to pleasure. Lust is the strong, passionate longing for certain
things; not only sex but also food, money, power and fame among others. However, in
relationship lust is defined as a strong sexual desire. It is an altered state of consciousness
programmed by the primal urge to procreate. Quickly let us take brief look at some few
features of lust. Lust focuses more on the outside than inside. Lust is focused on the person’s looks and
body. Lust places much emphasis on the body of the special someone. Pure lust is mainly based
on physical attraction. Imagine you meet a gorgeous and nice looking guy, well dressed and
start admiring him. At that moment you become very obsessed with his handsomeness and you
would even like to be seen in public with him. Intimacy does not exist. When you are in lust there is no sense of closeness or
familiarity between the two of you. In lust, a body against you just feels like dead weight. Lust is focused on fantasy. In lust, the relationship is kept at the fantasy level without
discussing real feelings. Lust is fueled by idealization and projection. That is, you see what you
hope your partner will be or need him or her to be rather than seeing the real person, flaws and
all. Lust is conditional. Lust is a conditional love. It is steeped in gratification without
concern to anything else. It blurs the lines of what is right and wrong. Do you now realize the
reason why you don’t feel bad about hanging or having sex with someone else other than your
partner? If you were in love, your unconditional feeling will keep you from doing so. Lust focuses on sex. If you are in lust, you are interested in having sex rather than
having emotional conversations. Whenever you are together just hanging around, watching
movie or doing any other thing, you always catch yourself wondering, “why are you not having
In conclusion, it must be emphatically stated without any fear of refutation that Love,
Like and Lust are three different stages of a relationship. Honestly, relationships begin with lust
which later develops into like and then lastly love. Do not be deceived that love, like and lust
are the same. They are never the same. Sometimes we are somewhere in between them and if
care is not taken we may mistake one for the other. Love is the intense feeling of affection
towards another person. Lust and like can transform into deep romantic love but the truth
remains that it usually takes time.
Written by: Gideon Ofori Arthur
University of Education, Winneba
Department of History Education
Level 300
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