Good first dates are rare to come by—hard to forget, sure, but some of them only stick to memory because of sheer awkwardness. However, there’s no reason all first dates need to turn into a disaster. Here are some tips to remember next time you decide to put yourself out there.
Before you even ask anyone out, figure out why you want to. Kampus Today explained why it’s important to define yourself first because that can affect the kind of people you’re attracting. No one expects younger people to settle down right away. It’s completely acceptable to say that you just want to have a special someone and enjoy the company for now, but that’s something that needs to be established beforehand. Mentally prepare yourself not just for the first date but for the process in general. Accept that there will be bumps along the way and try not to lose hope.
Choosing the right location is key to a successful first date. Unless you personally know the person and their taste, pick a place that’s more casual and has a neutral atmosphere like a cafe or a pub. If you end up liking each other, you can order more beverages. But if you don’t, you’ll at least have the option to leave and not sit through an awkward meal. Fancy restaurants are more of a third or fourth date type of setting when you have a bit more intimacy and know that you won’t run out of things to talk about.
Picking the right outfit to wear can be nerve-wracking for women and men alike. No one can dictate what you have to wear because style is individual but there are still a few things to remember. For one, Pretty Me emphasizes choosing something comfortable. If you end up wearing something that’s too tight, you might feel self-conscious and check up on your outfit too much. Your date might think that you are shallow and too concerned about your appearance. Of course, make sure that it matches the setting of your date which is why it’s important to agree upon a location prior to the occasion.
Here comes the important part – what do you talk about? First dates are about getting to know another person so it’s important that you ask questions that paint a better picture of who they are, although be careful not to make it sound like they’re being interviewed. If you run out of things to ask, Arthur Aron came up with a list of 36 questions ranging from silly to serious that are guaranteed to spark a conversation and maybe even a deeper connection. Here are a few examples:
– If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
– What is your most treasured memory?
– What does friendship mean to you?
There’s only one rule on technology on dates, and that’s to stay away from it. Thrive Global states that ‘phubbing’, or snubbing someone for a smartphone, can be rude. It’s so hurtful that even long-term relationships have crumbled over it. It gives off the feeling that you’re distant which you don’t want your date to think. You want to be present and show interest in your date if you want it to go well.
So who will pay for the date? Since society is becoming more progressive, it’s now a complicated question. But here’s a useful advice from Bumble’s head of brand Alex Williamson – the person who initiates the date should pay. If you’re the one who asked, make sure that you pick a place that fits your budget so you won’t feel annoyed that your date orders an expensive meal.
There is no guarantee that a first date could go well, but hopefully these tips point to the right direction. Let’s not sugarcoat it, modern dating can be tough. But at the end of the day, we do it because somewhere out there is the person we’re destined to be with for life.
Article specially written for kampustoday.com
By: Hannah Clara