The beautiful and awesome day our Good Lord has made, is set. All preparations are at last made. Invitations have been sent out, the bridal dress is completed, the hour has come. Two young hearts are throbbing with love and joy. A noble company, music, flowers and a solemn hush follows, as the happy pair approach the altar. The following are observed with utmost humility. The repetition of the sacred words of the marriage ceremony, the clasping of hands, the mutual covenants and promises, the giving and receiving of the ring and the final and most important one “Whom God has joined together let no man put asunder”, the prayers and the blessings. Quickly after the things observed above, there are tears of joy, congratulatory messages, and hurried goodbyes, a new nation frightened with high hopes has been born.
The marriage you and I see is like the bringing together of two musical instruments. The first and most delicate thing is to get the instruments keyed to the same pitch. There is always a soundcheck before the commencement of any musical concert. This is where you hear the musicians striking chords and keying their instruments until at length they all accord perfectly well. There have been various checks in the days of court. The actual and mysterious connection just like the musical instruments, which no scholarly language can define or explain between the newly married couple, begins after that faithful day (the day of marriage).
Before marriage young people are on their good behaviour. They do not exhibit their infirmities. Selfishness is hidden under garments of courtesy and gallantry. Marriage is where each soul forgets about self-in romantic devotion to the other. Anything that would make an unfavourable impression, is scrupulously put under big lock and key. Marriage is a great mystery. The phrase “the twain shall be one flesh” is no mere figure of speech. The two lives become one. Each opens every nook, every chamber, every cranny to the other. There is a mutual interflow, life pouring into life.
There may not be any intention on the part of either, to deceive the other in the smallest matter, or to cloak the smallest infirmities. Things begin to fall apart! One of the married souls either man or the woman stands in the porch of a house or at most sits in its parlour, never wanting to enter any of the inner rooms. Now the whole house is thrown open, and many unsuspected things are seen. No effort is longer made to curb the bad tempers and evil propensities. The delicate robe of politeness is torn away, and rudeness appears. It seems to be considered no longer necessary to continue the old thoughtfulness. Selfishness begins to assert itself. The sweet amenities of the wooing days are put aside and the latest result is unhappiness!
Oftentimes both the newly-wedded pair become discouraged and think in their hearts that they have made a mistake. And yet there is really no reason for the discouragement! The word “patience” kills everything in any situation. There is the need to exercise large and wiser patience on the part of the newly-wedded pair. The two lives require to be brought only into harmony, and love’s sweetest music will flow from two hearts in tender unison. But there are strict rules which must always be remembered and observed. For instance, after the wedding day, why should either party cease to observe all the sweet courtesies, little refinements and the charming amenities of the courtship days? Why should Kwarteng Emmanuel be polite all day to everyone he meets- even to his house boy and the hawker on the street- and then be less polite to her (the wife) who meets him at his door with yearning heart hungry for expressions of love? If things have gone wrong with Omare Asante Bright all day, why should he carry his gloom to his home to darken the joy of his wife’s tender heart? Why should a young and beautiful woman like Francisca Ampadu suffer profoundly all in the name of marriage? If all these are happening, then we guess marriage must be lifted from the realm of passions and senses, and be spiritualized. With this, our Maker and the Giver of life will see us through no matter what the challenge may be.
WRITTEN BY TEAM KWARTENG-OMARE
( 0545494995) (0555985558)
DEPARTMENT OF HISTORY EDUCATION
UNIVERSITY OF EDUCATION, WINNEBA